the post is OUT OF HAND

they're so racial* it's unreal. 

but it's not like that's anything new. 

so what IS new? well! among many things I'm re-starting my advice column. i'd LOVE to hear from you. i'm starting a larger project that will only be possible with the help of everyone out there who's in need of a shoulder or an ear. so please! if you need any advice please email me at weareverywellthankyou@yahoo.com. 

all letters are confidential and anonymous. feel free to make up your own name, or trust that i'll make up a sufficient one. 

topics welcome: 

parents

love

friendship

work

home

pets

federal law disputes 

etc!

all letters and answers will be posted at my "other" blog weareverywellthankyou.blogspot.com

can't wait to hear from you! 

*inside joke. beat it.

screw you guys

it's saturday and i'm in the big east BEFORE memorial day. woot woot. i'm so early the sun ain't even here yet.

i guess this is growing up

Ok, ok that's Blink 182 but still! Same shit, different...nothing.

I went to Tulip Fest this weekend in Albany. I love going to obscure city-cific festivals especially when relatively HUGE bands from my teenage years are now washed up and playing such circuits in the desperate attempt to promote a new album that has been...about 6 years in the making. And just for the record by "6 years in the making", I mean "1 month in the making and 5 years and 11 months in the convincing of any record label they aren't as washed up and out of touch as one would believe and this one's REALLY gonna go gold".

What band could I be speaking of??

None other than



I know that this intro was riddled with wisecracks and the casual reader would probably come away with the idea that I somehow was unaffected and blasé about the whole thing. BUT NO. No casual reader: it was quite simply the best.

3EB was slated to go on at 4 (after StellaStar's set, but that's another story all together) and as the countdown began, the smell of funnel cakes, the sounds of screaming babies combined with the din of bells and whistles from cheap arcade games, and the sight of the likes of these guys EVERYWHERE:



only served to intensify my revelation that I was about to live a much missed experience of my youth: I was at an outdoor state fair (note: I originally typed state fail...yep), drinking Budweiser in a can, and about to see wholly unimportant California band from the mid to late 90s.


I never went to shows. I hated music in high school. Ok wait, I take that back. I did go to shows but I did hate music. Update: I still hate music. Shows were only a means to an end for me, that end being making out with the hot boys that went to shows.

Turns out now that I'm older I can actually enjoy these wholesome activities I skipped out on.

When they went on I was, amazingly and completely independently of my conscious mind, screaming every lyric to every song at the top of my lungs. Don't know where that's been laying dormant in my brain for the last 10 years, but apparently it has. You know when you can't remember a phone number and so you just hold the phone and let your hand "remember" it for you and find yourself dialing it correctly?? It was like that.
At some point (right around "Jumper") my friend and I couldn't contain ourselves and rushed to get as close as we possibly could to the stage. I think I yelled "WE GOTTA CROWD SURF" on the way through. And by "I think", I mean I did.


Next thing I knew we were in the middle of a thousand 14 year old children (who BTW knew ALL THE LYRICS TOO! HOW?? I'm still mystified), alternately avoiding dude next to me vomiting up his life (lay off the Milwaukee's Best, friend), face-smashing blows from the moshers (really?), and the muddy feet of the crowd surfers.

It was at this point that "semi-charmed kind of life" came on. And OH did it degenerate into a 5 minute drum solo! Not that I really noticed, as I decided the only way to truly reclaim my lost youth was to crowd surf my way through this song. It was glorious.

And all my efforts of the day to make myself a teenager again were made righteous when I was successfully set down next to a lanky 14 year old girl with braces who promptly turned to me and said: "Hey I think I know you. Do you go to my high school?"

YES. YES I DO.

The moral of the story is: fuck plastic surgery, to hell with Le Mer, get gone sunscreen and drinking absurd amounts of water. The true path to to staying young forever is Third Eye Blind.

Nevermind that Steven Jenkins looks like he's 400 years old.

breakin the slaw

it's no secret that i hate cole slaw. maybe it is. i don't mean it to be.

it's so awful.

well, tonight i made a fish fry and i just felt like...a fish fry without a slaw of sorts? well, that'd be just wrong.

so here is a recipe i made up for all of you out there that hate the classic cole slaw and prefer to have something edible on your plate...rather than something that is basically peeing on the rest of your food.

it's definitely not a typical cole slaw, and coud very well be totally disqualified by it's decided lack of cabbage or whatever that wet milky mess is that covers it like a plague, but it's unbelieveably delicious nonetheless.

1 small head of fennel, chopped roughly
1/4 c parsey, torn up
1 ruby red grapefruit, cubed
1 small red onion, chopped
a handful of radishes, sliced thin then cut the rounds into quarters
fresh cracked black pepper

mix it all up together and serve. serves about 4. it has a great combination of flavors: spicy radishes, sweet fennel and grapefruit, tangy onion, hot pepper, and the indescribable green of parsley. good god how i love parsley.

the great iced coffee caper

i swear to god if i go to buy iced coffee and they try to charge me an arm and a leg (in today's economic climate an arm and a leg is apparently worth approximately 2 dollars and 50 cents) i'm going to scream.

clearly this has been building up.* i think what really set it off was last weekend i went to the diner with my boyfriend and he had regular coffee and i, being the lady, had mine iced (i don't know why but doesn't iced coffee just seem more feminine?). guess who got FREE unlimited refills and guess who DID NOT.

seriously? SERIOUSLY? IT'S THE SAME DRINK. WE ARE DRINKING THE EXACT SAME THING.

i couldn't help it. i had to say something! obviously the following is what came out:

"listen, do you think that icing this down changes it somehow into something wildly valuable? i mean, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PERFORMING ALCHEMY BY PUTTING A JUG OF COFFEE IN THE REFRIGERATOR?"

luckily i've gone to this place at least once a week for the last 8 years so they are absolutely used to the fact that i'm a lunatic.


for the record i think his answer was 'i don't speak english'. 'his' is the same guy that's been waiting on me for pretty much 8 years. he most certainly speaks english.


*it's been about a week since i've posted anything and this is what i come back with? weak.

breakin the law breakin the law

On my way to albany via adirondak trailways, a company full of bitches. I've been traveling to albany on this bus line for about 3 years now almost always with lucy but yet today they decided to fully enforce their no dog policy. Oh. Kay. I've brought her on numerous buses numerous times and had numerous drivers tell me to zip her bag or keep it zipped. never once have I heard anything about her not being allowed.

And since I'm a lunatic when it comes to achieving goals I even started crying, begging them to let me on. The only inch the manager gave was "I'm happy to hold the bag and dog so you can make this bus and someone can come pick her up."

WHAT? You have lost your damn mind. Do people even understand themselves when they talk? I think people that don't have pets or children are on a different plane of existence.

So you ask, did I get on a different bus? Did I take her home and scrap the trip alltogether? Did I go into the strawberry clothing store that happened to be conveniently located across the hall from the managers office, go the dressing room, move my clothes from my weekend bag to my purse, smoosh lucy AND her bag inside my weekend bag, walk back down to the gate and tell the driver I had someone pick her up?

No way (yes way).Thank god I pack light.

I also was violently ill this morning. All around friday the 8th? Not a good look.

what are these ladies doing?

someone better call music town fast, tell em get a new schtick. 

namesubjecttochange is becoming weareverywellthankyou but weareverywellthankyou has discovered competiton and therefore will revive itself with a fury

That's what she said?

No.