is this seat taken?

how was the movie? oh, ya know...AWESOME. duh. but more importantly, how were the staaaaaaaaars?

whoa. whoa. whoa.

first of all it's UNBELIEVABLE how attractive adrian brody is. god's gift, ladies. GOD'S. GIFT.



ok well maybe he looked a bit like chuck noland last night...but still those eyes. what color would you say those are? hypnotizing? is that a color? i want to have your baby boys? yes.

but enough about that. his girlfriend is also so hot.


aside from her being gorgeous, just watching her gives you an idea of why they are so in love. she was sort of like a baby in a woman's body, slouching somewhat inelegantly over the seats in front of her to talk to his parents, munching on popcorn, drinking a coke, all in her tighter than tight sequin mini dress and perfectly coifed hair. body language that made you want to pinch her and tell her to sit up straight. body language that was marilyn-esque almost, now that i think of it. i can imagine that marilyn monroe probably slumped in her seat or chewed with her mouth open or had some other habit that was surprising and slightly unbecoming, but mostly i bet it just made her all the more captivating. anyways, elsa got the green light (uh huh huh huh).

what a perfect segue.


beyonce, listen, i don't care what you say about you and sasha and any other weird personalities you got in there to protect yourself on stage...you are without a doubt the fiercest creature. in real life. in real time. even when you're trying to stand up and take a bow and you get your shoe caught in your dress and fall back into your seat. never saw someone fall so well.



i wish i had the footage of her the very next night. no costume changes, no set changes, no choreography changes. no no. she looked those stairs and those heels in the face and said I DARE YOU TO DO THAT AGAIN. bone crusher anyone?

at any rate, she was so cute, didn't eat or drink a thing, and didn't speak publicly once before, during, or after the movie or during the party. she did however hug a lot.

did i mention that jay z may or may not be half giant?

did i also mention that puff daddy felt it necessary to wear his full length camel hair coat complete with fur trim collar inside the movie theater? he also found it necessary to show up right as the opening credits started, forcing me to get up to make room for said man (read: said coat) to pass.

how about that i asked cedric the entertainer where the bathroom was? i know full well where the bathroom is in that theater. and it's not even that i was just trying to speak to him. believe it or not, i can control myself most of the time. even around large, luscious, dangerously famous mens like cedric the entertainer.



i think more than having to pee half way through the film, i really just had to step out and get some air. i mean...i was sitting in the same row as beyonce for goodness sake. a girl's gotta breathe.

basically i stepped out of the theater and just turned to the first person i saw. really my voice just had to get out. what i needed to say was 'OMG DID YOU KNOW BEYONCE'S IN THERE?!' but what came out was 'scuse me where's the restroom?' better believe i got the death stare from his assistant, but mr. the entertainer was so nice and seemed a lil tickled at my gaff. it doesn't hurt that i'm cute like a mouse wearing pajamas when i try.



but really i have to say the highlight of the night was giving a 17 year old super fan jamilla an extra ticket that we happened to have. i thought she was gonna faint!