what if his name was justin timberlack?

i feel like he wouldn't be as hot.

hey, isn't that the NY senate?

basically.

i mean, why WOULDN'T you want to have kids?

good GOD. this is so so frightening. i mean it seriously terrifies me.



and yes, he really did that with the remote.


this just furthers my theory that video games, television, the internet, all of these things are all just poisonous to a kid.





really?









REALLY? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PARENTS ?!?!


and then they turn into this






well...what's the harm. i mean they seem like nice boys.

in case any of us forgot

that olivia malone's from california. a beautiful new shot alongside an amazing shot from the last photo shoot of marilyn monroe by george barris*:







*the real last. bert stern was just the last person to shoot her in a studio.

so a woman get's on the bus...

I feel like I need to write a book about these stories. the brooklyn bus system is a gold mine when it comes to complete lunatics and/or derelicts.

so like i was saying this woman gets on the bus



ha! good one. no not that lunatic but close. maybe in about 175 years she will be this lunatic.

ever have an old lady get on a bus and demand your seat? on a completely empty bus? when you're sitting alllll the way in the back? while you're on the phone? surrounded by 4 bags of groceries? and your dog?

yeah me too. i wonder if it was the same asshole.

about a week ago i posted something about how when you're older you just know what you want. this doesn't extend into the realm of things that other people have. i don't care how old (or young for that matter) you can't have my seat! especially when i am sweating, on the phone with my grandmother, and carrying my entire life with me like that weird creature from the labrynth.

of course there is no photo to be found. trash heap will have to do.




long story short, i did move. she wouldn't get out of my face! and i'm pretty sure she was trying to sit on me. so i moved! BUT MAN DID I BITCH. that'll teach her.



for the record that did not teach her.

one bad apple

jesus good god almighty i would be so pissed off.

you're toxic, i'm slippin' under

i'm touched actually. she only follows 25% of her followers but yet i'm amongest them!?

more(ra) than an woman

maybe i'm getting too personal here but does anyone out there wear morera underwear?? 

ok, the dollar store down the street from me has always sold the best underwear ever. i kid you not. i discovered this about 3 years ago when i was looking for some cheap flip flops but instead came out with a pair of neon green boy short underpants that made me the happiest woman on earth for about a year until a fateful laundry incident with some black jeans that made them the color of a dead body. i had to throw them out. 

i know! 

ever since then they've had some solid selections but nothing spectacular and especially not in the frequency that would allow me to exclusively acquire my undergarments from them. and just to be clear, this is a true dollar store. they sell 'slightly imperfect' white tees, jihrmack shampoo from the 80s, and knock-offs of kid's toys all within about 3 feet of each other. the horry petter doll covered in scars is probably my all time favorite thing i've ever seen there. 

so although it's been a pretty steady showing, i've been forced to supplement my undergarments with gap body and h&m. not bad, but not neon green boy shorts either. 

however sunday the underwear gods shone again at royal price and this time it was the panty rapture. 

no.

yes. 

i bought these 3 unassuming (pun always intended) pairs. i thought they felt nice, good colors, good coverage, but it wasn't until monday, after actually putting them on that i really understood that i had just joined a cult basically. 

i am going to go ahead and say that i will never (happily) wear a different brand ever again. 

just how i'm going to accomplish that i don't know when THEIR WEBSITE DOESN'T WORK. 

AND NEITHER DOES THEIR PARENT COMPANY'S.

ebay? friendly reader out there that has a hook? i'm fiening!

but all of this is quite curious to have happened on my birthday. when i turned 24, literally the day i turned 24 i woke up and said 'for breakfast i would LOVE some oatmeal and a banana'. 

i had never said such a thing in my life. in truth i've rarely said anything of the like since. if i'm remembering correctly i think i actually looked around for a puppeteer. but what i'm noticing is there's something about birthdays that make me almost jokingly leap forward toward grannyness. 

i don't remember my 25th (i guess it was decidedly ungranny then) but for my 26th i spent the day with my dad and his girlfriend, her daughter, a few friends, and a friend's baby. i think i went to bed smiling at 9:30. WHOA NOW. 

now here at 27 i've taken the biggest step yet: obsessive brand exclusivity. did i mention i went back to the store on tuesday and bought 20 pairs? 

i don't know about everyone else, but my own grandmother is the most brand exclusive woman i've ever met in my life. i think this is just how you get as you age. if she likes a sweater, forget it. it's only that sweater forever. perfume? it's been estee lauder white diamonds for....ever. face cream? avon. shoes? easy stride. i don't know anything about her underwear but i can only assume that it's as autonomous as the rest. 

of course there are variations. it's food too! actually i think it starts with food. now that i think about it all through college i ate pretty much the same thing all the time: egg salad/wonton soup/tuna salad/lentil soup/spinach salad/spaghetti girl. i mean not only...but it wasn't a risky bet to assume that on any given day i would be consuming one of the six.

i never thought about where i get it but my grandmother's menu looks something like this

monday - chicken

tuesday - pork chops 

wednesday - fish

thursday - beef

friday - noodles and lentils

saturday - eat out/order in

sunday - spaghetti

i bet if i called her right now she'd tell me about the delicious tilapia she made last night. 

i'm realizing though it's not necessarily about complacency, as it is with the food, and it's more that as you get older you just know what you want; you're just better at wading through the bullshit and finding the supreme ultimate thing for thine. it's as simple as i want noodles and lentils again for dinner because it's delicious godammit. or i want my underwear as silky as a baby's elbow crux, as light as a balloon, and a cut that gives the illusion of a 17 year old's ass.

which i do. but i won't forever and that's where morera's REALLY gonna shine!* 

*i will most certainly have the ass of 17 year old forever.

at the risk of being another "FU PENGUIN" knock-off

i present the ECHIDNA:


you know you're an advanced monotreme when you've learned how to ask for change!!


p.s. his hand creeps me out to NO END.

i think that mark-paul gosselaar has had some work done.

buuuuuuuut i don't think i really care.



i had once given jimmy fallon over to the dark side of comedy: the sweaty, ticky, coke-addicted, rockstar side. i'm sure he's still somewhat there and i can't say that i love that behavior but i think maybe this late show has helped deter such imprudent habits. for one thing he can certainly hold a straight face longer than i ever saw before. i always had the image in my head of tina fey huffing and stink eyeing her way off set after every weekend update segment those two did. there was something about him that always reeked of half-assedness.

but he seems better.

i give you a pass jimmy fallon. but just remember i'm watching you. literally. on tv. on the internet.

nevermind that my opinion is about as weighty as a feather on the moon.

my head is about to explode with all the terminator cracks!

i cant believe there isn't ONE terminator joke in this whole article. i guess some people gots integrities.


The L.A. Times and the San Francisco Gate are reporting that Governor Schwarzenegger is using the budget crunch to renew a previous attempt to drastically shorten the holding period animals must be kept at government-funded shelters. According to the Times, “In 2004, Schwarzenegger made a similar proposal, saying cutting the minimum number of days shelters had to keep pets would save the state $14 million annually.”

Pushback from voters forced the Governor to shelve the plan, but despite the clear support demonstrated by Californians at that time for homeless, lost, and abandoned animals, once again he is attempting to use a financial crisis to eliminate hard-won laws that give pet owners the chance to find lost pets, and homeless animals even the briefest window of opportunity to find a home. According to SF Gate, “The proposal would allow shelters to euthanize stray pets after only three days, down from six.”

This isn’t the only time recently that the Governor has aimed the budget axe at the most voiceless (and vote-less?) in our society; in November of 2008 he proposed taxing veterinary care, classifying such lifesaving services as “luxuries,” in a category with golf, amusement parks, and sporting events.

Is the Governor betting that the financial situation has gotten so bad that Californians are now ready to throw lost and homeless dogs, cats, and other companion animals out of the lifeboat? Or can pushback from Californians once again remind him that in the state where he chose to run for Governor we really do care about animals? We are against cruelty and neglect, and we believe that (at the most selfish level) if our dog or cat becomes we lost, both we and our pet deserve a fair chance of finding each other before the cost of a bowl of food and some clean water become too financially burdensome for the state.

so..does 14 million sound like a lot to you? considering this state gives organizations such as planned parenthood around 300 million annually, i really don't think that's very much. and while i couldn't for the life me google my way to finding out the exact number of taxpayers in california, if you take roughly half the citizens of CA and divide that into 14 million, that's only about $0.80 per person per year.

i'd be willing to pay $0.80 per year to save millions of lucys. what about you?


sidenote: if you read the article here the caption under the photo i stole reads: 'Animals need time to find homes, especially seniors, larger dogs and both black dogs and cats.'

people are so racist.

"i can't wait till my sister gets here to show her this."

is what i said when i saw this.
in light of getting older and wiser, i've decided this trumps that foul-mouthed chameleon.

however, paddle kitty will never be defeated.

que es la DEAL, esse??

just maintaining. however, not maintaining nearly as hard as these guys.

p.s. monday is my birthday. this is my wish list:

1. a kindle.
2. yoga mits.
3. a garden.
4. a big fluffy dog bed for lucy.
5. love letters by great men.
6 . a spider plant.
7. a gym membership.
8. a csa membership.
9. tie dye leggings.
10. a haircut/massage/waxing/mani/pedi.