holy sheetz!

thanks to krissy for keeping me up on what's happening in our world. oh the things i'd miss if she wasn't around.

sheetz is basically the best convenience store in the world. god bless. the sister spirit squad discovered it on a routine astral expedition.

if only we had combined sheetz and other activities. well now we know.

Ship man jailed after naked trip to Sheetz

By Dale Heberlig, Sentinel Reporter, July 8, 2008

A Shippensburg man landed in Cumberland County Prison Tuesday after a naked early-morning excursion.

Police in Shippensburg say Brett Tyler Schatte, 21, walked into the Sheetz convenience store wearing no clothing around 2:49 a.m. Schatte reportedly ate a Slim Jim and a bag of chips and downed a bottle of Gatorade, then accosted a female customer.

According to police, Schatte approached a 20-year-old woman, pulled up her shirt and tried to pull down her skirt before the woman’s boyfriend intervened and escorted Schatte outside.

According to arrest papers, Schatte grabbed a jug of windshield washer fluid outside the store and threw it at the woman’s rescuer, then fled north on North Queen Street.

Police say they spotted the naked man a block away in the 300 block of East Burd Street, and took him into custody after two attempts to flee.
On-Call District Judge Paula Correal arraigned Schatte on charges of indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, public drunkenness, retail theft and harassment and jailed him in lieu of $2,500 bail.

A preliminary hearing is set for July 21 before District Judge Harold Bender.

so there are so many things to note about this, but in the interest of being succinct i'll only touch on two.

1) schatte did some shit at sheetz.

2) how was he in the store long enough to do all of that eating and drinking? i mean sure, slim jims take about 4 seconds to eat, but it takes me at least 25 minutes to go through a bag of chips. and about a day and a half to drink a gatorade. i'm picturing brett just chilling in the magazine aisle sipping a gatorade, the condensation dripping on his (no doubt) gross balls, thumbing through the current issue of horse and hound, while the 17 year old hillbilly at the counter is fast asleep and drooling. that's the only way.