did your blog attack you last night?*

i may be pee-wee herman. brish brish brish!

and go here now. woooooorth it.


*thanks to bianca for asking me that.

also

'hi everybody!' has been stuck in my head all day long. i've been randomly saying outloud. yikes-o-rama.

it never gets old

didn't take a picture this morning cause i was running late, BUT here's this one. at 8:50pm.

and because i felt guilty, i started doing these as well.




and then i just started having a good time and roped the dog into it.


she was not amused




if you didn't LOL at these, leave this blog right now because you dont deserve the next photograph. if i was still in school, this would be my thesis:








i. can't. even. breathe.

fired.

who named this company? fired.

battle me

favorite for life. f'life.

did i mention...

surprisingly difficult.

today i found my phone in the shower.

10:45am/9:20pm

google images search of human coffee tables

YIELDS NOTHING. i'm so bummed out. but i did find this:



that and the giant piano from BIG? i'd never leave my house.

where'd you get so drunk at?

if we were on the lost island, you could ask 'when'd you get so drunk at?'



right?

but i went to ultra lounge last night. a friend of mine was in need of hugs and bitching plus she bribed me with promises of gift bags. so we went to some party for zoozoom.com called fashion war? not sure and i definitely wasn't prepared for it. apparently the premise was to come dressed to the nines and you would be photographed, and then subjected to voting by online zoo zoom lovers to whether you were 'wining' or 'losing'.

at life? i definitely lose.

but apparently i'm wining the fashion war?




i won 677 wars! this shit is going on my cv.

also look at jacque. she wins at everything. forever.

i'm doing this thing

where i read a book that corresponds to each letter of the alphabet (i.e. margaret atwood was first)




now that i've finished the blind assassin which was wonderful as usual. there were many times that i had to put it down and take a breath. i highly recommend it. and aside from being blown away by her language and her capacity to develop stories and characters so thoroughly and intimately, i was equally impressed with the scope of the story purely from a research standpoint. she is truly a master that continually creates work that is exciting, even solely through the fact that you can feel the rigor and challenges she creates for herself.

so now i've moved on to b. i pretty much decided that bill bryson would be my b, but i finished a at home and was restless so i tried to pull a b from my shelf i hadn't read.

i'm bored of this story already.




i pulled out clockwork orange by anthony burgess. ack ack ack attack. i've read 1984, and fahrenheit 451, and brave new world. not the same really, but sort of it is. i started reading it though and then i stopped. i'm sure it's great but i don't think i can deal with the violence.



but that was two nights ago. and i am right next to barnes and noble. and i still haven't bought bill bryson. and as of last night i still am reading a clockwork orange. super drunk.

i have this habit of making macaroni and cheese when i'm wasted and eating it in bed (grossss), only to not recall doing so the next day (no doubt out of shame, rather than being blacked out), and subsequently get uber pissed at my roommate for continuously eating my mac and cheese. reading clockwork orange last night, 3 sheets to the wind, i couldn't help but be reminded of this less than desirable habit.

i think at the very least a clockwork orange is better for my ass than macaroni and cheese.



while creating this post i stumbled upon these jewels: a blog devoted to things fat people don't like, a masterful collection of hats, hatbands, caps, pugarees, and other such enjoyable head wear, all of them replicas from movies, television shows, and famous personalities, and an equally masterful collection of idioms. guess where i'll be for the rest of the day?

this morning i woke up...

and i had a new follower on my blog. PROPS (to me).

then i went to make my bed and a fire truck passed my window. i have this tradition of crossing myself whenever an ambulance/fire truck passes me. this tradition is turning into a superstition. today i actually had an out loud conversation with myself that went like this:

'you dont have to cross yourself everyyyy time'

'but god sees it. god sseeeeeeees it.'

[hasty crossing]

can you hear it? can you appreciate that they were on different lines of text, as if there actually were two people in the room? i cannot appreciate that without shuttering.

it reminded me of myself as a child post-puppet master viewing.






GOD ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN.

from there on out, every time i ever made my bed i would make sure that all my stuffed animals were in super comfortable positions, were each in a democratically equal position in the group, and that none of them had to be underneath each other for fear of crushing.

i was an incredibly nervous child.



also, it's really intense to think about that i watched this movie as a baby basically. and it's so overwhelmingly frightening to think about the mind that created these movies.

also:



anyone?

my computer broke this morning.

but i think this is good enough for today. also, 12:49 a.m.

this seems somehow lazy.

and SO MEAN. i'm not mean, i'm just not. but this is just...uncanny.

LOL from the AIM

olivia: today on cnn they were doing like an acronym for self care during this time

s was for serenity

e was for exercise

l was for love

i think i stopped watching then
stephanie: can i blog this?

take me to do some grave rubbing and my heart is yours.

promises.

is this boring yet?

yep. and as a request the times: 8:03 a.m. and 8:06 p.m.

my horoscope

Before she died at the age of 101, photographer Ruth Bernhard attributed her longevity to her restlessness. "Never get used to anything," she advised. I recommend that approach to you right now, Gemini. You're in a phase of your astrological cycle when thinking big and wild and free will be rewarded. To improve your physical health and boost your mental hygiene, unfamiliarize yourself with the people and things you've grown accustomed to. Sneak away from your habits. Disrupt and tamper with your normal responses. Find good excuses to be unpredictable.

wooo chile! you said it!

hey guess what!?

i got laid off.

i'll be taking a photograph of myself morning and night, every day until i get a job. also, i feel ill almost every 10 minutes from how nervous this is making me.

team tattoo inspiration station.