i just cant have kids

I just can't. I'm at the San Antonio airport lounge, waiting to fly back home. There's a person with a baby a few seats away from me. Its screaming like its being murdered. And not just murdered, but robbed and humilated all over the internet beforehand too. Its been about 7 minutes now. People are starting to look. And I just don't think I could deal with that.

I just said on twitter that I can't connect with people who bring pillows or blankets with them while traveling. Imagine having a baby? Better yet, imagine ME with a baby?? I can't even bear to carry a coat. My arms have to be free. This is clearly nonsense. But on the less tenuous tip: I just couldn't handle not being able to 1) hush the baby, 2) speak at length as to why they're feeling so emotional, and 3) ignore the fact that people's lives were being ruined by my super unhappy baby.

Ah, me.

I spent the weekend with my sister. We were cooking on saturday night and she was telling me about going to see her friend Amy earlier that week. She had just had a baby and my sister visited her in the hospital. She got a chance to hold the baby and told me that when she did the urge to keep it forever was almost overwhelming. I still can't believe it. I guess I look at my sister as an extension of myself, or rather myself as an extension of her and so there are certain qualities I would think that were the same. The lack of desire for babies would be one. I guess not. Maybe though the same thing will happen to me.