ok, the dollar store down the street from me has always sold the best underwear ever. i kid you not. i discovered this about 3 years ago when i was looking for some cheap flip flops but instead came out with a pair of neon green boy short underpants that made me the happiest woman on earth for about a year until a fateful laundry incident with some black jeans that made them the color of a dead body. i had to throw them out.
i know!
ever since then they've had some solid selections but nothing spectacular and especially not in the frequency that would allow me to exclusively acquire my undergarments from them. and just to be clear, this is a true dollar store. they sell 'slightly imperfect' white tees, jihrmack shampoo from the 80s, and knock-offs of kid's toys all within about 3 feet of each other. the horry petter doll covered in scars is probably my all time favorite thing i've ever seen there.
so although it's been a pretty steady showing, i've been forced to supplement my undergarments with gap body and h&m. not bad, but not neon green boy shorts either.
however sunday the underwear gods shone again at royal price and this time it was the panty rapture.
no.
yes.
yes.
i bought these 3 unassuming (pun always intended) pairs. i thought they felt nice, good colors, good coverage, but it wasn't until monday, after actually putting them on that i really understood that i had just joined a cult basically.
i am going to go ahead and say that i will never (happily) wear a different brand ever again.
just how i'm going to accomplish that i don't know when THEIR WEBSITE DOESN'T WORK.
ebay? friendly reader out there that has a hook? i'm fiening!
but all of this is quite curious to have happened on my birthday. when i turned 24, literally the day i turned 24 i woke up and said 'for breakfast i would LOVE some oatmeal and a banana'.
i had never said such a thing in my life. in truth i've rarely said anything of the like since. if i'm remembering correctly i think i actually looked around for a puppeteer. but what i'm noticing is there's something about birthdays that make me almost jokingly leap forward toward grannyness.
i don't remember my 25th (i guess it was decidedly ungranny then) but for my 26th i spent the day with my dad and his girlfriend, her daughter, a few friends, and a friend's baby. i think i went to bed smiling at 9:30. WHOA NOW.
now here at 27 i've taken the biggest step yet: obsessive brand exclusivity. did i mention i went back to the store on tuesday and bought 20 pairs?
i don't know about everyone else, but my own grandmother is the most brand exclusive woman i've ever met in my life. i think this is just how you get as you age. if she likes a sweater, forget it. it's only that sweater forever. perfume? it's been estee lauder white diamonds for....ever. face cream? avon. shoes? easy stride. i don't know anything about her underwear but i can only assume that it's as autonomous as the rest.
of course there are variations. it's food too! actually i think it starts with food. now that i think about it all through college i ate pretty much the same thing all the time: egg salad/wonton soup/tuna salad/lentil soup/spinach salad/spaghetti girl. i mean not only...but it wasn't a risky bet to assume that on any given day i would be consuming one of the six.
i never thought about where i get it but my grandmother's menu looks something like this
monday - chicken
tuesday - pork chops
wednesday - fish
thursday - beef
friday - noodles and lentils
saturday - eat out/order in
sunday - spaghetti
i bet if i called her right now she'd tell me about the delicious tilapia she made last night.
i'm realizing though it's not necessarily about complacency, as it is with the food, and it's more that as you get older you just know what you want; you're just better at wading through the bullshit and finding the supreme ultimate thing for thine. it's as simple as i want noodles and lentils again for dinner because it's delicious godammit. or i want my underwear as silky as a baby's elbow crux, as light as a balloon, and a cut that gives the illusion of a 17 year old's ass.
which i do. but i won't forever and that's where morera's REALLY gonna shine!*
*i will most certainly have the ass of 17 year old forever.
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