you're toxic, i'm slippin' under

i'm touched actually. she only follows 25% of her followers but yet i'm amongest them!?

more(ra) than an woman

maybe i'm getting too personal here but does anyone out there wear morera underwear?? 

ok, the dollar store down the street from me has always sold the best underwear ever. i kid you not. i discovered this about 3 years ago when i was looking for some cheap flip flops but instead came out with a pair of neon green boy short underpants that made me the happiest woman on earth for about a year until a fateful laundry incident with some black jeans that made them the color of a dead body. i had to throw them out. 

i know! 

ever since then they've had some solid selections but nothing spectacular and especially not in the frequency that would allow me to exclusively acquire my undergarments from them. and just to be clear, this is a true dollar store. they sell 'slightly imperfect' white tees, jihrmack shampoo from the 80s, and knock-offs of kid's toys all within about 3 feet of each other. the horry petter doll covered in scars is probably my all time favorite thing i've ever seen there. 

so although it's been a pretty steady showing, i've been forced to supplement my undergarments with gap body and h&m. not bad, but not neon green boy shorts either. 

however sunday the underwear gods shone again at royal price and this time it was the panty rapture. 

no.

yes. 

i bought these 3 unassuming (pun always intended) pairs. i thought they felt nice, good colors, good coverage, but it wasn't until monday, after actually putting them on that i really understood that i had just joined a cult basically. 

i am going to go ahead and say that i will never (happily) wear a different brand ever again. 

just how i'm going to accomplish that i don't know when THEIR WEBSITE DOESN'T WORK. 

AND NEITHER DOES THEIR PARENT COMPANY'S.

ebay? friendly reader out there that has a hook? i'm fiening!

but all of this is quite curious to have happened on my birthday. when i turned 24, literally the day i turned 24 i woke up and said 'for breakfast i would LOVE some oatmeal and a banana'. 

i had never said such a thing in my life. in truth i've rarely said anything of the like since. if i'm remembering correctly i think i actually looked around for a puppeteer. but what i'm noticing is there's something about birthdays that make me almost jokingly leap forward toward grannyness. 

i don't remember my 25th (i guess it was decidedly ungranny then) but for my 26th i spent the day with my dad and his girlfriend, her daughter, a few friends, and a friend's baby. i think i went to bed smiling at 9:30. WHOA NOW. 

now here at 27 i've taken the biggest step yet: obsessive brand exclusivity. did i mention i went back to the store on tuesday and bought 20 pairs? 

i don't know about everyone else, but my own grandmother is the most brand exclusive woman i've ever met in my life. i think this is just how you get as you age. if she likes a sweater, forget it. it's only that sweater forever. perfume? it's been estee lauder white diamonds for....ever. face cream? avon. shoes? easy stride. i don't know anything about her underwear but i can only assume that it's as autonomous as the rest. 

of course there are variations. it's food too! actually i think it starts with food. now that i think about it all through college i ate pretty much the same thing all the time: egg salad/wonton soup/tuna salad/lentil soup/spinach salad/spaghetti girl. i mean not only...but it wasn't a risky bet to assume that on any given day i would be consuming one of the six.

i never thought about where i get it but my grandmother's menu looks something like this

monday - chicken

tuesday - pork chops 

wednesday - fish

thursday - beef

friday - noodles and lentils

saturday - eat out/order in

sunday - spaghetti

i bet if i called her right now she'd tell me about the delicious tilapia she made last night. 

i'm realizing though it's not necessarily about complacency, as it is with the food, and it's more that as you get older you just know what you want; you're just better at wading through the bullshit and finding the supreme ultimate thing for thine. it's as simple as i want noodles and lentils again for dinner because it's delicious godammit. or i want my underwear as silky as a baby's elbow crux, as light as a balloon, and a cut that gives the illusion of a 17 year old's ass.

which i do. but i won't forever and that's where morera's REALLY gonna shine!* 

*i will most certainly have the ass of 17 year old forever.

at the risk of being another "FU PENGUIN" knock-off

i present the ECHIDNA:


you know you're an advanced monotreme when you've learned how to ask for change!!


p.s. his hand creeps me out to NO END.

i think that mark-paul gosselaar has had some work done.

buuuuuuuut i don't think i really care.



i had once given jimmy fallon over to the dark side of comedy: the sweaty, ticky, coke-addicted, rockstar side. i'm sure he's still somewhat there and i can't say that i love that behavior but i think maybe this late show has helped deter such imprudent habits. for one thing he can certainly hold a straight face longer than i ever saw before. i always had the image in my head of tina fey huffing and stink eyeing her way off set after every weekend update segment those two did. there was something about him that always reeked of half-assedness.

but he seems better.

i give you a pass jimmy fallon. but just remember i'm watching you. literally. on tv. on the internet.

nevermind that my opinion is about as weighty as a feather on the moon.

my head is about to explode with all the terminator cracks!

i cant believe there isn't ONE terminator joke in this whole article. i guess some people gots integrities.


The L.A. Times and the San Francisco Gate are reporting that Governor Schwarzenegger is using the budget crunch to renew a previous attempt to drastically shorten the holding period animals must be kept at government-funded shelters. According to the Times, “In 2004, Schwarzenegger made a similar proposal, saying cutting the minimum number of days shelters had to keep pets would save the state $14 million annually.”

Pushback from voters forced the Governor to shelve the plan, but despite the clear support demonstrated by Californians at that time for homeless, lost, and abandoned animals, once again he is attempting to use a financial crisis to eliminate hard-won laws that give pet owners the chance to find lost pets, and homeless animals even the briefest window of opportunity to find a home. According to SF Gate, “The proposal would allow shelters to euthanize stray pets after only three days, down from six.”

This isn’t the only time recently that the Governor has aimed the budget axe at the most voiceless (and vote-less?) in our society; in November of 2008 he proposed taxing veterinary care, classifying such lifesaving services as “luxuries,” in a category with golf, amusement parks, and sporting events.

Is the Governor betting that the financial situation has gotten so bad that Californians are now ready to throw lost and homeless dogs, cats, and other companion animals out of the lifeboat? Or can pushback from Californians once again remind him that in the state where he chose to run for Governor we really do care about animals? We are against cruelty and neglect, and we believe that (at the most selfish level) if our dog or cat becomes we lost, both we and our pet deserve a fair chance of finding each other before the cost of a bowl of food and some clean water become too financially burdensome for the state.

so..does 14 million sound like a lot to you? considering this state gives organizations such as planned parenthood around 300 million annually, i really don't think that's very much. and while i couldn't for the life me google my way to finding out the exact number of taxpayers in california, if you take roughly half the citizens of CA and divide that into 14 million, that's only about $0.80 per person per year.

i'd be willing to pay $0.80 per year to save millions of lucys. what about you?


sidenote: if you read the article here the caption under the photo i stole reads: 'Animals need time to find homes, especially seniors, larger dogs and both black dogs and cats.'

people are so racist.

"i can't wait till my sister gets here to show her this."

is what i said when i saw this.
in light of getting older and wiser, i've decided this trumps that foul-mouthed chameleon.

however, paddle kitty will never be defeated.

que es la DEAL, esse??

just maintaining. however, not maintaining nearly as hard as these guys.

p.s. monday is my birthday. this is my wish list:

1. a kindle.
2. yoga mits.
3. a garden.
4. a big fluffy dog bed for lucy.
5. love letters by great men.
6 . a spider plant.
7. a gym membership.
8. a csa membership.
9. tie dye leggings.
10. a haircut/massage/waxing/mani/pedi.

the post is OUT OF HAND

they're so racial* it's unreal. 

but it's not like that's anything new. 

so what IS new? well! among many things I'm re-starting my advice column. i'd LOVE to hear from you. i'm starting a larger project that will only be possible with the help of everyone out there who's in need of a shoulder or an ear. so please! if you need any advice please email me at weareverywellthankyou@yahoo.com. 

all letters are confidential and anonymous. feel free to make up your own name, or trust that i'll make up a sufficient one. 

topics welcome: 

parents

love

friendship

work

home

pets

federal law disputes 

etc!

all letters and answers will be posted at my "other" blog weareverywellthankyou.blogspot.com

can't wait to hear from you! 

*inside joke. beat it.

screw you guys

it's saturday and i'm in the big east BEFORE memorial day. woot woot. i'm so early the sun ain't even here yet.

i guess this is growing up

Ok, ok that's Blink 182 but still! Same shit, different...nothing.

I went to Tulip Fest this weekend in Albany. I love going to obscure city-cific festivals especially when relatively HUGE bands from my teenage years are now washed up and playing such circuits in the desperate attempt to promote a new album that has been...about 6 years in the making. And just for the record by "6 years in the making", I mean "1 month in the making and 5 years and 11 months in the convincing of any record label they aren't as washed up and out of touch as one would believe and this one's REALLY gonna go gold".

What band could I be speaking of??

None other than



I know that this intro was riddled with wisecracks and the casual reader would probably come away with the idea that I somehow was unaffected and blasé about the whole thing. BUT NO. No casual reader: it was quite simply the best.

3EB was slated to go on at 4 (after StellaStar's set, but that's another story all together) and as the countdown began, the smell of funnel cakes, the sounds of screaming babies combined with the din of bells and whistles from cheap arcade games, and the sight of the likes of these guys EVERYWHERE:



only served to intensify my revelation that I was about to live a much missed experience of my youth: I was at an outdoor state fair (note: I originally typed state fail...yep), drinking Budweiser in a can, and about to see wholly unimportant California band from the mid to late 90s.


I never went to shows. I hated music in high school. Ok wait, I take that back. I did go to shows but I did hate music. Update: I still hate music. Shows were only a means to an end for me, that end being making out with the hot boys that went to shows.

Turns out now that I'm older I can actually enjoy these wholesome activities I skipped out on.

When they went on I was, amazingly and completely independently of my conscious mind, screaming every lyric to every song at the top of my lungs. Don't know where that's been laying dormant in my brain for the last 10 years, but apparently it has. You know when you can't remember a phone number and so you just hold the phone and let your hand "remember" it for you and find yourself dialing it correctly?? It was like that.
At some point (right around "Jumper") my friend and I couldn't contain ourselves and rushed to get as close as we possibly could to the stage. I think I yelled "WE GOTTA CROWD SURF" on the way through. And by "I think", I mean I did.


Next thing I knew we were in the middle of a thousand 14 year old children (who BTW knew ALL THE LYRICS TOO! HOW?? I'm still mystified), alternately avoiding dude next to me vomiting up his life (lay off the Milwaukee's Best, friend), face-smashing blows from the moshers (really?), and the muddy feet of the crowd surfers.

It was at this point that "semi-charmed kind of life" came on. And OH did it degenerate into a 5 minute drum solo! Not that I really noticed, as I decided the only way to truly reclaim my lost youth was to crowd surf my way through this song. It was glorious.

And all my efforts of the day to make myself a teenager again were made righteous when I was successfully set down next to a lanky 14 year old girl with braces who promptly turned to me and said: "Hey I think I know you. Do you go to my high school?"

YES. YES I DO.

The moral of the story is: fuck plastic surgery, to hell with Le Mer, get gone sunscreen and drinking absurd amounts of water. The true path to to staying young forever is Third Eye Blind.

Nevermind that Steven Jenkins looks like he's 400 years old.

breakin the slaw

it's no secret that i hate cole slaw. maybe it is. i don't mean it to be.

it's so awful.

well, tonight i made a fish fry and i just felt like...a fish fry without a slaw of sorts? well, that'd be just wrong.

so here is a recipe i made up for all of you out there that hate the classic cole slaw and prefer to have something edible on your plate...rather than something that is basically peeing on the rest of your food.

it's definitely not a typical cole slaw, and coud very well be totally disqualified by it's decided lack of cabbage or whatever that wet milky mess is that covers it like a plague, but it's unbelieveably delicious nonetheless.

1 small head of fennel, chopped roughly
1/4 c parsey, torn up
1 ruby red grapefruit, cubed
1 small red onion, chopped
a handful of radishes, sliced thin then cut the rounds into quarters
fresh cracked black pepper

mix it all up together and serve. serves about 4. it has a great combination of flavors: spicy radishes, sweet fennel and grapefruit, tangy onion, hot pepper, and the indescribable green of parsley. good god how i love parsley.

the great iced coffee caper

i swear to god if i go to buy iced coffee and they try to charge me an arm and a leg (in today's economic climate an arm and a leg is apparently worth approximately 2 dollars and 50 cents) i'm going to scream.

clearly this has been building up.* i think what really set it off was last weekend i went to the diner with my boyfriend and he had regular coffee and i, being the lady, had mine iced (i don't know why but doesn't iced coffee just seem more feminine?). guess who got FREE unlimited refills and guess who DID NOT.

seriously? SERIOUSLY? IT'S THE SAME DRINK. WE ARE DRINKING THE EXACT SAME THING.

i couldn't help it. i had to say something! obviously the following is what came out:

"listen, do you think that icing this down changes it somehow into something wildly valuable? i mean, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PERFORMING ALCHEMY BY PUTTING A JUG OF COFFEE IN THE REFRIGERATOR?"

luckily i've gone to this place at least once a week for the last 8 years so they are absolutely used to the fact that i'm a lunatic.


for the record i think his answer was 'i don't speak english'. 'his' is the same guy that's been waiting on me for pretty much 8 years. he most certainly speaks english.


*it's been about a week since i've posted anything and this is what i come back with? weak.

breakin the law breakin the law

On my way to albany via adirondak trailways, a company full of bitches. I've been traveling to albany on this bus line for about 3 years now almost always with lucy but yet today they decided to fully enforce their no dog policy. Oh. Kay. I've brought her on numerous buses numerous times and had numerous drivers tell me to zip her bag or keep it zipped. never once have I heard anything about her not being allowed.

And since I'm a lunatic when it comes to achieving goals I even started crying, begging them to let me on. The only inch the manager gave was "I'm happy to hold the bag and dog so you can make this bus and someone can come pick her up."

WHAT? You have lost your damn mind. Do people even understand themselves when they talk? I think people that don't have pets or children are on a different plane of existence.

So you ask, did I get on a different bus? Did I take her home and scrap the trip alltogether? Did I go into the strawberry clothing store that happened to be conveniently located across the hall from the managers office, go the dressing room, move my clothes from my weekend bag to my purse, smoosh lucy AND her bag inside my weekend bag, walk back down to the gate and tell the driver I had someone pick her up?

No way (yes way).Thank god I pack light.

I also was violently ill this morning. All around friday the 8th? Not a good look.

what are these ladies doing?

someone better call music town fast, tell em get a new schtick. 

namesubjecttochange is becoming weareverywellthankyou but weareverywellthankyou has discovered competiton and therefore will revive itself with a fury

That's what she said?

No.