lil'.

i have a serious aversion to certain words, phrases, or proper names. lil' is one such contraction that i can't really deal with. to illustrate my point, i offer this story: i throw a holiday party every year with lots of crafts, yummy booze-y drinks, and homemade treats. last year i wanted to make pigs in a blanket, so i went to the grocery to get the pillsbury dough and the lil' smokies. when i got there i could not, for the life of me find the goddamn sausages. i wrestled with myself for a good 3 minutes, hovering next to a stock boy, trying to decide if i could, in fact, say the word "lil'" out loud, and in earnest. turns out i could not. so i huffed away and bought some other pint-sized sausage link.

they did not taste good. damn it.

other words i can't say without a slight shutter:

i've actually been known to say burro.


it looks so delicious! oh the injustice!


these are so goddamn amazing that i can't not order them...so i point. i'll be damned if you EVER hear me speak the name of this angelic creation. but then the waitress reads it out loud as she writes it down, all nonchalantly...as if the very words aren't melting the skin off babies' faces around the world.