\OMG I'M SO EXCITED. with this post i've got my FTG back! i have to admit that ever since phelps i've been less than excited about our fuck that guys. not that i don't fuck those guys...but...
but JOEL OSTEEN!?!? yes obvious but still. i'm as giddy as a kid on christmas about this one. the google image search alone was enough to get my blood pumping.
where to begin? how about fuck that guy for turning a place from my childhood memories into a circus. THE SUMMIT IS YOUR CHURCH. that's not a church! you've raped my faith.
pause
my friend jason was talking to me the other day about when he and his grandmother were driving around houton and they happened to pass Lakewood Church. she hadn't seen this monstrosity before so she asks, 'Jason, what is that place?'. 'That's the Lakewood Church grandma." "Oh...looks like 6 Flags Over Jesus."
hell yes grandma. that's exactly what it looks like. a joke. about jesus. in america.
how about fuck that guy joel osteen and his face? you and george clooney and your goddamn faces. look, you can't smile all the time. i don't care if jesus is your wing man. no one bros that hard. how do you eat with that smile? how do you get down with your wife with that smile?
good lord you're married to the wicked witch of the south. nevermind.
how about fuck that guy joel osteen for making me frown even more when i think about how i frowned for probably 28% of my life?
how about that?
that's not a long time. but in a joel osteen world that is 67% too much. oh what's that? no one has 139% of time? maybe if you read my one of his books you would. just sayin...
pfff. you buy that and i have a bridge to sell you.
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