a blog will always text you back

best friend ever.



this morning i was reading the post online and came across this 'article'. as you can imagine, i was sitting here with my coffee, nodding and mmmhm-ing and yessirry-ing my way through it. for a top ten list, it's pretty comprehensive. of course there are a few things left off... like what about the intimidating deli man who basically eradicates your chance at ever getting a sandwich if god forbid you don't know what you want at the exact moment he says NEXT PLEASE? even though i know i'm getting the same thing i get every single time, it gives me so much anxiety it's outrageous. it's like he has the last sandwich on earth and if you don't step up you're going to starve to death. or is that just me?

or, speaking of delis, how about the 14 homies that find it necessary to hang out with the cashier at 11pm on any given friday, whose sole purposes are to pretty much make you feel like you're purchasing that 22 of corona, wearing nothing but a g-string. thanks guys! i'm gonna go take a bath in lye now!

i could go on.

but what was really blowing my mind about this article are the comments. people are out of their minds (and so alone it's painful). here are some of my favorites, accompanied by what i think these people must look like:


The_Pammiest:
Add me to the list of people who hate slow walkers. I always say under my breath, but loud enough for them to hear: "Welcome to the world of slow walkers. My 91 yo father walks faster than you. Maybe if you lost some lard from your fat tush, you'd move faster."


Collinwood:
The_Pammiest I'd like to add you to the list. "People who talk under their breath because they don't have the balls to confront people" What good does saying it under your breath do? Maybe if you checked people they'd get the message. Do us all a favor next time.


hydroman:
fat kids?


Notsomuch:
Those who believe the official version of events of 9/11 were true?